02/25/11: Solo Training Session #7

Embarrassed about the amount of procrastination involved in actually getting to the studio today. Relieved the room is available. Looking forward to exploring some of my new internal sensations of what this training is about. Pleased to be here. Pleased to be documenting myself being here. Feeling confident and happy.


CONTEMPLATIVE PRACTICE (7 minutes):

Meditated in half-lotus against the wall, room dark, eyes open, facing the mirror.

WARM-UP (20 minutes):

Long-form sun salutations, breathing deeply.

Sang "When the River Meets the Sea" a capella in front of the mirror while doing "infinity arm circles."

100 jumping jacks followed by body scan to find body part to work with today. Found my xiphoid process (aka metasternum, the cartilaginous end of the sternum which attaches to the diaphragm muscles and is related to breathing).

TRAINING (35 minutes):

Almost no speaking for the entire time.

Yoga poses to stretch region around xiphoid process.

Extensive work with mirror.

Explored shoulder and arm choreography. Right angles.

Drew blue dot on xiphoid process to isolate it more clearly.

Worked shirtless for a time in order to have access to xiphoid process, was slightly uncomfortable and switched to a small scarf around my breasts.

Mime-type exercises including pulling an invisible rope through my body.

Explored grotesque faces and body positions, particularly invoking archetypes of old men and women (like Pantalone character in commedia)

Explored soft and hard facial gestures, which led to a few words about gender and embodiment.

Camera ran out of memory, last 5 minutes unrecorded.

Short, extreme emotional experiences characterized the (unrecoreded) end of the session - confusion and anger. They subsided as soon as the alarm sounded for the training's end.

NOTE-TAKING (5 minutes):

Sat in studio. Took brief notes about session and found I could not remember very precisely what had transpired. Decided to watch session video to recreate notes (this plan was later foiled as an error occurred and the footage was lost). Wrote Tiny Imaginary Play #7.

1/21/11: Solo Training Session #2

Afraid to video myself. Annoyed that I can’t do the full 2 hours. Afraid that I’m not going to come up with anything good, that I’ll do this exploration and find nothing. Fear that there are many other people out there much more qualified to do this than I am.


Contemplative Practice (7 minutes):
Child’s pose. Brought a blanket this time, and a warm hoodie. Made some sound but mostly tried to meditate. Body and mind felt pretty happy.

Warm-Up (7 minutes):
Turned on video camera and tried really hard to ignore it. Rolled around developmental movement-style. Played with sighs that turned into sounds. Exploring upper part of register (in contrast to last week’s baritone, and in response to recent conversation about my learned/artificial lowering of my natural vocal register).

Free Improvisation (40 minutes):
Spent time making high screechy wails, listening to the double tones that those sounds can make.

Did slow motion fist-fight. Played with sounds to accompany each motion.

Realized I hadn’t done my morning altar-waking ritual, so did a mimed version of those actions.

The opening of the Yemeni flower candle-holder became a twirling, dervish-esque dance. Wished I could dance better.

Found a character – a pre-adolescent Israeli girl dancing alone, singing songs to herself in a high strange soprano voice that are half made-up, half-traditional. Perhaps she is a prophet.

Ran around in circles. Ran back and forth. Walked a line in the floor like a tightrope, quickly. Speech about how perception feels like in fast motion versus slow motion.

Slow motion exploration, thinking about sensation inside the body.

Someone walks in at the end. Wish this room had doors that lock.

Note-taking (10 minutes):
Walked over to the Stanford Memorial Church, took notes sitting in the beautiful silence and golden light, under the sweet angels. Wrote Tiny Imaginary Play #2 (click here to read)

1/14/11: Solo Training Session #1

Afraid to begin. Annoyed at my constant procrastination. Wondering why I am doing this at all. Fear of narcissism and wasting time. Fear that this is the wrong time to do this, too late or too early, or not under the appropriately auspicious stars.

Contemplative Practice (10 minutes):
Sat in child’s pose. Made low, long sounds. Tone resonance is nice in the studio. Body feels achy, sick, lethargic, cold. Floor is very cold.

Warm-Up (10 minutes):
Too achy to be very physical. Worked feet and ankles mostly. Sang “The Water is Wide.” I don’t know the lyrics so I make up new ones. Created a game with myself about improvising lyrics.

Free Improvisation (30 minutes):
Mostly on the floor. Mostly with eyes closed. Room grew darker as session went on, quite dark at the end. Lots of crawling on belly and singing while in fetal position, or what I called “june bug pose.”

Speech about moment of psychic release that follows lovemaking and the attempt to find that full surrender elsewhere in life. Speech about being afraid to fall asleep the night before for fear I’d stop breathing in my sleep. Two releases – one desirable, the other terrifying.

Made up a song and a character that sings it – an old Black Jamaican man. Sang in an unfamiliar baritone voice that felt good in that room. Glad that no-one can see me. Sang “Hey ho, nobody home” in this same character.

Looked at hands to check and see if I was dreaming. This became a dance. Finally at the end I was able to dance – free movement, hips open, still very contained but at last I was a creature with feet and not just a june bug.

Very appreciative of the privacy of the space. Being alone feels safe and strange.

Note-taking (10 minutes):
Had idea about creating “tiny imaginary plays” after every session. I will post these on my other blog "Parapraxis" and link to them here. Voila, Tiny Imaginary Play #1 (click here to read)